In my last post I mentioned some changes in my life. I've been catching a few people up with the changes in my life in recent weeks, and the conversation goes something like this:
Me: "So, I've separated from my husband..."
Person: "Oh, I'm sorry." (sad sympathetic face)
Me: "No, it's ok actually. We're staying friends. It's just that... I'm gay."
Person: "Oh. Right! Well, um, congratulations?" (confused, not sure how to react face)
Me: "And I've met someone. She's lovely. I'm really happy."
Person: "Oh! Wow! Great!" (surprised happy face)
It's amazing how the word "Oh" can express so many different emotions. It's funny how people talk about "coming out" like it's a one time thing. It would be quite useful if it were - one big announcement so that everyone knows and you don't have to keep having the same conversation over and over again. A surprising number of people have not been particularly surprised actually. A gay guy I met at a conference, who was one of the first people I told, said he thought I was gay when he met me. It was my eyes apparently. I have lesbian eyes. Who knew?
I'm lucky in that I work in tertiary education, and my workplace has been a very safe and supportive place in which to come out. My family has mostly been supportive, or at least neutral, and (so far) I haven't lost any friends over it. Other women I have met who have been in similar situations (and there are more of us than you might think) have had horrendous experiences, cut off by family and friends, ostracised at work. So I feel pretty lucky.
That's not to say it has been easy, or that it was an easy decision to tell my husband, end our marriage and officially come out. But I'm glad I have, and I'm much happier in the knowledge that I am being the person I was born to be.
More later :)
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